Random Ramblings

=Coctail de obsesii si angoase=

Dear diary (I)

pe februarie 10, 2008

I find myself at the edge of two distinct worlds. The imaginary is slowly taking over. Sad. Every day I find another reason to take refuge in that land. Things are getting out of hand. I find it hard to concentrate even over small issues. Truth is all I do is day-dream. I go to school, I day-dream. I watch TV, I day-dream. I cook, I day-dream. Even when I go to bed, I continue to day-dream. In the last past weeks, that’s all I did. I keep saying that I need a pinch to move ahead, but I don’t feel it. Wait a sec! Ahead where?

So comes the time when I disagree with almost everything. I tend to overreact. Too often I may say. Maybe I am a little bit off the line and I need.. oh, what the hell do I need? Oh, yes, I know what I need! A good kick in the ass and a knock in the head to wake up. If that helps.

How many times did you made a plan and tried to stick to it? Many times? Well, I’m sick of making them. And mad. Boy, ain’t I mad! Mad about my incapacity to do the things I’m suppose to do.

Hell with the crap. I had a crappy day, with a crappy test, a crappy atmosphere at home, a crappy attitude and most of all I have a crappy life. I’m tired of complaining. I’m tired of being sick. I’m tired of being a dope. I’m tired of being like a rash. I’m tired of being hysterical. I’m tired of crying. I’m tired of trying. I’m tired of hoping.

I’m going to knock a cigarette against my gray lungs. It will definitely take the pain away and all my more-or-less-real problems. And then I’ll go to bed. And lay in sweet dreams. At least there everything is in a precise order. And happens the way I want.

„- I won’t be late, baby, I don’t even wanna go!

– Sure, go ahead…”

„- What’s up, baby?

– I’m fine. I missed your voice!”

Actually, I miss you. And this one is for you.


2 responses to “Dear diary (I)

  1. adeenah spune:

    cute way of expressing your thoughts, cu toate ca nu sunt unele dintre cele mai placute! Incearca sa iti impui alte limite pe care sa le depasesti..si by the way..de unde stii care sunt lucrurile pe care „you’re supposed to do?” te pup and take care!

  2. Forensic Girl spune:

    Pai, eu stiu ce am de facut, doar ca nu fac. Stiu, de exemplu, ca tre’ sa termin un proiect si as vrea sa il termin mai repede, dar nu fac nimic in sensul asta. Si ma trezesc cu el pe ultima suta de metri… that sucks! You know that too!

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